How to become a surrogate mother

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Are you interested in becoming a surrogate mother? If so, you need to learn all about this life-changing journey. When you are a surrogate, you carry a pregnancy for a consenting couple, give birth to the baby, and transfer parental rights to the intended couple. Some mothers seek surrogacy for financial freedom, while others seek to help couples start their own families.

Whatever your reasons, you need to understand what surrogacy entails before you dive into it. And because it can be a long and difficult process that requires you to be committed, selfless, and strong, you will ponder the matter for some time. You’ll ask yourself, “Is this something I’m willing to stick with until the very end?” “Is it worth it?” “Am I ready for this? “How to become a surrogate mother?” “What should I expect?” »

If you’re considering surrogacy, here’s everything you need to know, including the basics of getting started with screening and the legal and medical requirements to help you decide if you’re willing and ready for surrogacy.

Getting Started: Basic Requirements

The very first step is to find a suitable surrogacy agency. Each agency has their screening requirements that surrogates must meet. According to Substitute, screening ensures that a surrogate is physically, mentally and emotionally ready for pregnancy. Common qualifications you must meet include:

  • Be between 21 and 45 years old, although some agencies accept mothers under or over this age

  • Have a healthy BMI of 30 or less

  • Have a successful pregnancy, no more than three C-sections or five vaginal births

  • Do not have a history of complicated pregnancies

  • Have no history of drug use and smoking

  • Requires no government assistance

  • Have no tattoos, piercings or STIs in the past year

  • Stopping antidepressants in the past year

  • Have no criminal record

  • Can go on dates

In addition to checking these boxes, the agency will perform a physical exam to confirm that you are healthy and can support a fetus. A fertility specialist can perform an exam to check your hormone levels, blood tests, and signs of infection. You will also undergo an ultrasound to monitor the condition of your uterus.

Also expect a mental assessment, as surrogacy is psychologically demanding. A mental health professional will assess you to confirm that you understand the challenges involved and if you are ready to meet them.

The surrogacy agency can also do an in-home assessment to get to know you better. A social worker will ask you what prompted you to pursue surrogacy, and you, in turn, can ask questions about this process.

Legal: all about the laws of your state

Surrogacy laws vary from state to state. Some states have legalized all types of surrogacy and have no stipulated laws, while others have banned certain types of surrogacy. For example, paid surrogacy is illegal in Nebraska and Michigan, while California and Washington consider all surrogacy to be legal.

Health line adds that state laws may dictate parental rights and compensation. If you have trouble understanding the laws in your state, hire a surrogacy attorney. The attorney will also help you draft a legal contract that respects and protects your legal interests during surrogacy.

They will go over aspects of surrogacy that you might not know about, such as monthly stipend, your legal rights or compensation.

For example, Intended Parents must pay your monthly stipend, basic salary, legal fees, screening and examination costs, and unforeseen events like miscarriage, health insurance, and mental health support.

RELATED: Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas Welcome Baby Girl Via Surrogate

Get ready: identify what you expect from surrogacy

The next step after confirming that you are eligible for surrogacy and that your state laws allow it, determine if you want traditional or gestational surrogacy.

Traditional surrogacy involves fertilizing your egg with sperm from the intended donor, which means you are technically the baby’s biological mother, although you give up all parental rights at birth. The fertility specialist uses intrauterine insemination to fertilize your egg.

On the other hand, surrogacy uses the egg and sperm of the intended parents. In this case, you are not genetically related to the baby. The egg and sperm are fertilized in the laboratory and then transferred to your uterus for implantation.

Then find the right surrogate family. Surrogacy agencies can help you find a match. However, be sure to choose intended parents whose profile matches your preferences, values ​​and expectations. Carrying a baby for nine months for people you don’t love can feel like a long time.

Once you’ve found the right match, discuss how your arrangement will work, how many embryos you’ll be carrying, your compensation, what they expect of you, postpartum parental rights, and everything else. other detail that each party deems appropriate. These conditions must be written in a legal contract that you and the intended parents must sign.

Getting pregnant: IVF or IUI

The next step is to get pregnant. You will begin fertility treatments including blood tests, injections, medications and ultrasounds to prepare your body for in vitro fertilization.

With IUI, the doctor will transfer the donor sperm to your uterus for fertilization and implantation after observing for some time. With IVF, you may need to take medication to bring your cycle into line with the expectant mother. However, if you use frozen embryos, you will only be taking medication to prepare your body for implantation.

According to Substitute, you may need to make routine visits to the fertility doctor until the pregnancy is confirmed as a success. When this happens, you can ask your obstetrician to take care of your prenatal care. Your intended parents must pay their monthly compensation for your upkeep and prenatal care.

Delivery: the last step

When you deliver the baby, you will hand over the child to the intended parents and parental rights as stipulated in the legal contract. Whether you maintain communication with the child later should be discussed in the contract. However, after giving the baby to its legitimate parents, you need to take time to heal. Your body needs a break and rest to grow into a healthy human being.

Additionally, you need to nurture your emotional self during this time. Surrogacy involves helping future parents carry their baby. However, this selfless act can cause you to develop an attachment to the child. It turns out that struggling with these emotions without raising a real child can weigh you down and lead to baby blues and depression.

Surrogacy has its rewarding benefits. However, be sure to go through all the pros and cons before getting involved. Also, hire a surrogacy lawyer to help you defend your interests and cover up any shortcomings.

Sources: Substitute, Health line, Substitute.


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