“It’s just a constant reminder that we can’t do it on our own.”
Shane Dawson and Ryland Adams, two men with 388,000 subscribers on their YouTube channel, recently started planning a surrogate pregnancy and revealed they had selected and purchased an egg donor.
They plan to use the same donor for two children, born a few years apart. Dawson’s sperm will be used for one child and Adams’ for another, giving the children the same biological mother — though not necessarily the same biological mother — and different biological fathers.
“We chose an egg donor. It was very strange to click ‘buy’ on our child’s mother,” Dawson said in a currently trending video on YouTube. “We filmed the process, not for YouTube, but just for our kids when they turn 18. If they have a sense of humor, they can laugh about it. Just leaning on us buying – ‘We bought your mom!’ “
Dawson and Adams made the decision after sifting through profiles of potential donors. After using an app to combine their faces and see what their biological child would look like, Dawson suggested using it to also combine their faces with the woman’s.
“It actually feels like a mix of us. See, it’s even more depressing because we can’t have kids,” Dawson said looking at the picture. “But I could put pictures of surrogate mothers here. We could see what happens. Give me a girl.
“We’re kidding, but we have to figure out what we’re going to do,” Adams added.
Dawson recalled mentioning filming the process of buying the mother’s egg and eventually sharing it with the child to his therapist.
“She was like, ‘Are you really going to show her this?'” Dawson said. “I was like, ‘I guess not.'”
As they got more serious about finding a way to have children and started browsing women’s profiles, the couple described it as “really dark” and “depressing”.
“Where it gets sad is that we’re not women, so we have to find an egg donor,” Adams said. That means sifting through what he described as “dating profile” photos.
“It’s just a constant reminder that we can’t do it on our own,” Dawson. “It’s weird looking at pictures of all these girls and thinking, ‘I want it to be mommy.’ So grateful for them, but it’s weird.
These are just two of the many people in the public eye who choose to use a surrogate. More recently, Dave Rubin and Dave Janet announced their use of a surrogate in March 2022, and Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra revealed the birth of their child via surrogacy earlier in the year.
The Catholic Church denounces the use of reproductive technologies such as in vitro fertilization and surrogacy. The manipulations of procreation violate both the dignity of the marital union and that of the child.
The document titled “Instruction on Respect for Human Life at its Origin and on the Dignity of Procreation,” available on the Vatican website, deals specifically with the act of surrogacy.
It specifies what “surrogate mother” means, including the most common type, a “woman who carries during pregnancy an embryo implanted in her uterus and who is genetically foreign to the embryo because it was obtained by the union ‘donor gametes.’ The woman pledged to carry the pregnancy and hand the child over to the commissioners.
“Surrogacy represents an objective breach of the obligations of maternal love, marital fidelity and responsible motherhood,” the document states. “It undermines the dignity and the right of the child to be conceived, carried in its mother’s womb, brought into the world and brought up by its own parents; it establishes, to the detriment of families, a division between the physical, psychological and moral elements which constitute these families.